Last Call
by Howlitzer
Summary: Guy meets girl...who is actually another guy. Still, a good night is a good night, right?


Last Call

[Shippuden]

* * *

It was getting dark, Hidan noticed. Somewhere in Rain Country, in a small town, he wandered around aimlessly.

"Kakuzu…you loser…"

His partner had come here to balance the Akatsuki accounts…and Hidan knew how Kakuzu got when it came to money. He'd be here a long while, he figured. At least he was wearing street clothes this time. White polo shirt, beige khaki pants, and nice black shoes (Kakuzu had flipped out on him for buying them, the cheapskate). Hidan liked to think that tonight he looked…casual.

His phone rang. Only one person it could be.

"Dammit, Kakuzu! Are you done yet?"

"You sound tense."

"…Listen here, smartass-"

"We'll be here overnight. Something just came up. I'll be back at the hotel tomorrow morning."

"Wait…what?"

"Keep yourself busy, Hidan…and don't start any of your religion crap."

"Do you have to be such a damn heathen? Seriously…"

"Whatever. Have fun."

"Oh, hey! You knock yourself out, too. Like, literally. Or like, die…or something."

"Goodbye, Hidan."

Kakuzu hung up.

"Kakuzu, you jackass. Seriously, what the hell?"

Hidan knew he was going to be bored out of his mind. He figured he'd just get a drink and get distracted by some cute girl, or something. Maybe spread the faith of Jashin while he was at it. It beat doing nothing all night.

Meanwhile, in the same town, a blonde-haired girl was making her way to the local bar as well. She had blue eyes and long hair, some of which was tied up into two small ponytails while the rest of it draped down her shoulders, and what looked like whisker marks on her cheeks. The knee-length white skirt she wore swayed gently in the breeze, as she smoothed out her black shirt. Her headband, with the Konoha symbol on it, hung loosely around her neck. She blew a stray bang away from her face as she walked, trying her best to ignore the somewhat unnerving stares that came her way, from both the male and female varieties.

"Man…maybe I look too good…" Her voice was relatively soft, but not very-high pitched. She pretty much looked like someone who took good care of themselves, and was naturally…er…endowed, so to speak.

But even so, it was hard being a girl…especially when you were really a guy to begin with.

Uzumaki Naruto – or Naru, as he would be called at this point in time – was currently on a B-rank information gathering mission. This had come directly from the Godaime Hokage, Tsunade. The idea of using his original jutsu, Sexy no Jutsu, came to him while preparing for the mission. He'd basically be unrecognizable to anyone who came across him, even the Akatsuki, who were rumoured to be around the area.

The mission had been easy enough, and he had collected all of the necessary data while going around as Naru. It hadn't been all that tough, and he didn't mind staying like this like he might have in the past.

But it had been a long day…so Naru decided to get herself a drink.

She sat down on a barstool, noting it was pretty comfortable, and ordered a-

"Coke and rum, on the rocks."

That wasn't her voice…what? Naru turned her head to look at the gentleman beside her.

"Hey."

He looked up. "Hey."

"Are you…a mind reader, by any chance?"

"No. Why the hell would I be?"

Naru shrugged. "Well, you sort of ordered my drink before I could, that's all."

He raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? That's…pretty crazy, I have to admit." He held out a hand, feeling friendly. "Hidan."

She grabbed it and shook firmly. "Naru."

"Nice name. Very classy."

"Eh, you think so? A lot of people find it..._normal_. Or so they say."

"Huh. Well, I couldn't say the same, babe. Hey, barkeep. Make that a double, and the young lady here will be having the same thing."

"You think I can handle a double?"

"Eh, I guess. I've been wrong before, no big deal," he said nonchalantly. "So what brings you here, kid?"

"Just some research, that's all. Finished up an hour ago, so I decided to come here to just…hang out." She smiled. "What about you, Hidan-san?"

"Hidan-san? Seriously, you're making me sound like an old man."

"I can't help it; I am pretty young, after all."

"Tch…if you say so, Naru-_chan_."

"Hey, hey…" She playfully hit him on the arm. It was nice to have someone to talk to.

"Say, you wanna go somewhere afterwards?"

Hidan looked at her in amazement. "Whoa, back up there, sister. Let's not try to steal bases so soon."

"What…? What do you-"

"Besides, I'm a holy man…and even if I wasn't, you're probably way too young for me, anyways."

"Hold on…you don't think-!"

"Now I know, I know. You're in the prime of your youth and all, and you look very…how do I say this, _healthy_. But-"

"Hidan."

"What? I'm not finished ranting."

"Hidan, I just wanted us to take a walk around."

"Well, duh. How else would you get me back to the hotel so you could-"

"I don't want to screw you, Hidan."

He stopped and looked at her for a moment. She was completely serious.

"…Oh."

"Yeah."

"Sorry. It's just I get that a lot for some reason," he said sheepishly.

"Uh-huh," Naru said half-heartedly. "Well, if it's like that…"

Hidan sighed. Why'd he have to be such a jerk? They were having a nice time, too.

"You still wanna go?"

He looked at her, surprised. "Eh? Really?"

"Sure. And maybe later…" She gave him a saucy wink. "We can mess around back at my place."

"Heh…keep dreaming, babe. This body is property of Jashin-sama."

"Jashin-sama? He your boss?"

"Um…sorta. I'll explain everything to you, if you want."

Naru took a sip of her drink as it arrived. "I'm all ears."

"Okay…now, Jashin-sama has a vision for this world…"

* * *

Despite the fact that he was a religious nutcase, Naru had taken a liking to the silver-haired man she knew as Hidan.

And, despite the fact that she hadn't accepted the truths of serving under Jashin-sama, Hidan had taken to the energetic blonde girl known as Naru.

To say they enjoyed each other's company was an understatement. Neither of them felt awkward, despite the fact that they had just met, and they talked non-stop, about anything and everything that crossed their minds. In about four hours, they were truly the best of friends. In another four, practically soul-mates.

They both wished they could stay the way they were forever.

"So yeah…the guy's a damn cheapskate, seriously. He hates spending money unless he absolutely has to, or unless the boss forces him to. Dude's quite persuasive, I can tell you."

"Geez…that must suck big time. Oh, look!"

"Hm? What at?"

"The sun's coming up…" Hidan looked over to where Naru was pointing.

"Well…damn. That is freakin' _gorgeous_."

"Told you, told you!" she said with a huge grin.

"Of course…one thing looks prettier."

"Really, what?"

Hidan gave her an odd look, and then smiled, shaking his head. "Seriously...you're too dense for your own good, babe."

"Come on, Hidan-saaan. Tell me!"

"You'll figure it out soon enough." His phone rang for the first time in what seemed like ages.

"Yo."

"Hmph. You seem like you're in a good mood."

"What's it to you? You'd better be calling for a good reason."

"I've finished the accounts. We're free to go."

"Finally! Man, you're a pain in the ass. I've got a lot to-"

"Goodbye, Hidan."

He hung up.

"…What a _bitch_."

"That your partner?"

"Yeah…I've gotta go."

"Really? Come on, stay for a bit longer!"

"Wish I could, but duty calls. Sorry, kiddo," he said, tousling her hair.

"Hey, Hidan…"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for hanging out with me."

"Nah…I should be saying that to you. This is the best time I've had in years, you know. I owe you a lot. So…"

He placed a hand gently on her cheek. "Don't think I'll forget about this, or you."

"Hidan…"

"I've gotta go over to the hotel…"

"Okay…"

"Hey…this isn't sayonara, right, babe?"

"Hope not. See you later, Hidan-san."

"Later, Naru-chan."

He walked off, leaving her alone as the sunlight washed over her. It was then that Naru blushed madly, realizing what Hidan had meant earlier.

"Honestly…that guy…"

* * *

It was a while later when Hidan ended up in the same town again. It looked the same as ever, which was a bit strange, but…

"Eh. I'll just sit tight. Maybe find someone to talk to…"

He made his way to the local bar once more, and ordered a-

"Coke and rum, on the rocks. Make it a double."

He smirked. "You really think I can handle a double, ma'am?"

"I guess. I've been wrong before, no big deal."

He turned to the young woman beside him, wearing an orange sweater and a familiar white dress. Her blue eyes sparkled with energy.

"Long time no see, Hidan-san."

"Same to you, babe."

"So, what do you want to talk about?" she said cheerfully.

"Really, anything. Seriously…I get the feeling I've got nothing but time, Naru."

She smiled. "Awesome!"

"Well, let me tell you some more about Jashin-sama, see…"

* * *

"Shikamaru…thanks."

"Hey, no biggie…"

"If only I'd known that time…maybe…"

"Don't beat yourself up. He was Akatsuki, you know."

"That doesn't matter. He was…still a person. Just like you and me."

"…I wish I got to know him the way you did."

"Me too…"

Shikamaru sighed. "Anyways, Tsunade-sama said your chakra should sustain that genjutsu indefinitely. He'll be inside whatever illusion you chose to provide."

"Good to know…"

"…I'll be here as long as we need to be, so don't feel like you're in a rush."

"Nah…we'll go now. You probably have more important things to do."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. Thanks a lot…"

"Like I said, it's nothing."

The two Konoha shinobi walked away from the pit filled with rubble, deep inside the Nara clan's section of forest.

"It isn't sayonara…" the blonde-haired boy said, smiling.


End file.
